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Not the offers from generous strangers — and there are many — for free penile reduction surgery. It goes the other way, too. We reached out to Cabrera several times to hear his thoughts, and see if we could help guide him toward a new gaping-vag girlfriend. We reached out to a couple — they didn't get back. You play with your own dick too much, nobody else wants to play with it. There was a glimmer of hope in a number of videos which show women with vaginas as big as microwaves, where men stick their legs and heads in, but many look fake. But big cocks are more of a curse than a blessing, because they aren't what ladies want. Genital size, it follows, should be congruent. Thankfully, if he's mad at himself for wasting his life, he can literally whack himself in his own forehead with his own dick.

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