I went home and shame-spiraled for several days, cringing every time my brain wandered back to the painful image of his dick covered in my vom. Pretty soon after that, I came to terms with the fact that I'm a big ol' lesbian who is physically repulsed by dick. I led him to his bed a mattress on the floor and threw him down like a real WOMAN in control of her life and choices. By the time I began to blow him, I felt like I had come down with a full-blast flu. We all know men prefer blowjobs to sex, and at least I can just shut my eyes and "think of England" as my mother taught me to do throughout the process. He was my snuggly sunshine bear who got me blitzed for free and took me to concerts on Sunset Blvd.
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